Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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