At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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