I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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