i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i out mim tonsoeep
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