he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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