I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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