my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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