Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
