Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
