doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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