Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
