It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
