We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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