she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
