Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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