You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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