hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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