his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize