Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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