Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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