and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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