singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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