You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
