these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
