Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
