i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
