Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
