well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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