I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
