i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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