It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
