he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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