Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize