He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
