I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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