I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my being single is dangerous.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
