U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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