we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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