Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize