So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
