Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
