I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
