nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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