Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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