I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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