Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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