i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
