You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
