The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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