i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize