it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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