so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
