your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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