The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
