I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
