i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
