Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
