I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
