At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
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He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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