Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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